Summary
Video game weapons are there to help players defeat enemies and complete objectives. It certainly beats using words or the power of friendship. That aside, there’s no denying the fact that some weapons were pretty shocking to use back in the day.
This could’ve been for a variety of reasons; it might’ve pushed boundaries for the time in terms of how gory and violent a game can be; they may have beenridiculously powerful, making players of the era laugh at how strong they were; or they may have been so utterly surreal and hilarious that they’re still iconic in their own right to this very day. Whatever the reasons, these guns were real jaw-droppers at one point.
The Air Taserin the firstSyphon Filtergamewas shocking in a literal sense. Unintentional puns aside, it fires a hook from afar and attacks itself as an enemy, where it can be incapacitated by zapping them with a few thousand volts.
What players at the time quickly realized was that, if electrocuted for an extended period of time, this would be enough to set any unlucky terrorist on fire! One can keep holding down the attack button as the flames consume its victim, too. This is a fine example of overdoing it and was a really brilliant example of the game’s attention to detail.
The Doctor Who Cloned MeDLC for the critically pannedDuke Nukem Foreverwas abig improvement over the base gamein a lot of ways. It had a tighter, more consistent campaign, better boss battles, and even a slew of new guns, one of which is the Impegrenader.
The weapon is a literal giant testicle with a few tentacles that dig deep within and flings slime, splattering enemies for heavy damage. While it’s capable of damaging Duke in both the campaign and multiplayer, it’s very powerful and even slowly regenerates ammo. The game’s in-game tips even encourage users to “c**k-slap” foes with a melee attack. Who knows where it was extracted from, or from whom, exactly, but perhaps it’s best not to think about it.
The Fat Man fromFallout 3could turn any careful player into a harbinger of a nuclear apocalypse on-foot, providing they collect enough ammo. Mini Nukes are rare and hardly cheap, though there’s no glossing over the fact that they produce some jaw-dropping explosions for maximum damage.
Hilariously, one of the rare variants - the MIRV Launcher - deals even more damage and pops out eight of them at once! Not only is this the textbook definition of what overkill is, but a single pull of the trigger is enough to bankrupt most players. Best make it count by leaving it for the Super Mutant Behemoths.
The Injector is a gruesome and unusual sort of weapon. InTimeSplitters: Future Perfect’s story mode, it proved to be very powerful against mutants in the level taking place in the U-Genix secret labs. A single dart can make the mutants explode in a shower of gore and chunks. Messy but effective.
Alas, it has a totally different effect altogether in multiplayer. There, firing multiple darts will deal minor damage to a target. However, if enough darts are wedged into someone, they will begin to inflate to ridiculous proportions, to the point where they will explode and die instantly. It’s the sort of exaggerated wackiness that took countless players by surprise.
It’s also handy for extinguishing burning allies or oneself, and it can reveal disguised or cloaked Spies, too. It’s one of the most powerful and popular weapons in the game for Sniper players and is equal parts revolting and silly.
Before the modernSaints Row(2022) came along and effectively sank the franchise, there was a timewhen the series was at the top of its game. InSaints Row 3, the developers decided to embrace the wackiness and deliver goofier content to go in-hand with its nutty sandbox gameplay.
In short, it introduced a phallic-shaped bat to smack people over the head with. It became synonymous with the series and its immature sense of humor, so much so that even Volition created a full-sized prop version for their offices. Getting battered by one of these was humiliating, but so was letting our parents see it as well…
There’s no forgetting the Lancer assault rifle fromGears of War. Nay, it has been included in every other entry in the series and is a staple inclusion. Its design is nothing short of iconic, and the ability to chop Locusts in half with its mounted chainsaw is the sort of deliciously violent stuff that fans gobbled up after staring in amazement at that very first execution they pulled off.
Rushing at enemies with this thing is the sort of wacky, crazy tactic that can score a frag in an online multiplayer match, too. Plus, it adds a ‘personal touch’ on top of everything else as well. The Lancer, in short, is far more than just a gimmick - it kicks serious hide, too.
8Cat Shotgun / M16 (POSTAL 2)
Collected cats can be attached to the end of a shotgun and assault rifle.
When there are no suppressors available, one has to improvise. The sociopathic Postal Dude does exactly that inPOSTAL 2by attaching a cat to the end of either a shotgun or assault rifle to muffle the sounds by sticking the barrel where the sun doesn’t shine and firing shots out of their mouths.
It’s but one of many examples of the tonal shift in the series.The firstPOSTALwas dark and brooding, whilePOSTAL 2was a lot more tongue-in-cheek and surreal. The satirical and cheeky humor of this title was more than enough to offend countless numbers of people, and the Cat Shotgun was certainly a big part of that.
Where did the myth of probing even come from, anyway? Regardless of the origin, it seems to have become synonymous with extraterrestrials. An Anal Probe was, consequently, implemented in the third-person shooterDestroy All Humans!This was also, of course, brought back in the remake.
After launching a projectile into a victim’s backside, the hapless victim will run around and excrete uncontrollably while shouting in pain. If a civilian dies while in the process of a very painful probing, their brain stems will eject out of their heads and be ready to collect. It’s even upgradable with things like “Sniffer Sensors” and a “Butt Pressure Maximizer”!
Bows, shotguns, and bazookas are all viable options for hunting aliensin theTurokseries. Yet, the true cream of the crop goes to the infamous Cerebral Bore, first introduced inTurok 2: The Seeds of Evil. Inspired by the 1979 horror moviePhantasm, the device is capable of killing most enemies in one hit.
Equipped with homing technology, the Cerebral Bore can be launched to lodge itself into a bad guy’s face, slowly drilling its way into their cranium while blood gushes out of the back like a faucet. While it isn’t overly reliable against packs of enemies and has no effect on tougher foes, it has stuck with fans and critics alike for decades now due to its overly-gnarly and gruesome means of execution.
