Goat Simulator 3, a direct follow-up to the originalGoat Simulatorof 2014, is likely the least accurate simulation game that’s ever been created, and that’s just fine. The intentional jank can be hilarious and bizarre, and the quirky, goat-obsessed world lends the wild proceedings an appropriately tongue-in-cheek tone. Playing alone,Goat Simulator 3is fun and frivolous, but ultimately lacks substance beyond checking quest boxes. But playing with friends is a different experience, opening a path to a whole new level of shenanigans.
If players find themselves pondering the question, “what happened toGoat Simulator2?” they’ve been confronted with the game’s first joke, and it’s a good indication of what’s to come.Goat Simulator 3opens with a parody ofSkyrimthat features 4 goats facing each other in a cart while a farmer rambles on nearby. The farmer, who is one of the few real characters in the game, makes it clear that the goat protagonist is indeed in a video game. He engages in a long monologue, eventually cracking jokes at exposition in games and wondering why the player hasn’t skipped the scene.
The goofs come hard and fast, only a portion being laugh-out-loud funny, depending on taste of course. Swedish developer Coffee Stain Studios seems to take a spray-and-pray approach, and is happy with the few that stick and the duds alike. Even the bad, cheap, or just plain dumb jokes seem to be part of the fun. The real laughs come from the established rules of the world, which allow for some disastrous fun. This is the core of what makesGoat Simulator 3great, especially in multiplayer.
The first thing players are prompted to do is to “synchronize” with a nearby goat tower, thereby revealing a portion of the map and most of the available quests. Anyone who’s played anopen world game in the past decade and a halfor so will recognize this mechanic. In this case, it serves both its intended, map-revealing function, and as a parody of the multitudinous other games that have used the same system. Much of the gaming humor inGoat simulator 3tracks like this. Employing, while simultaneously ribbing, mechanics that have become cliché.
After players synchronize, they can enter the tower and reveal the main thrust of gameplay, at least from a narrative perspective. Within the tower is a large door with several seals. As players complete quests, they will earn points and a certain amount of points increases their “Illuminati Rank” and breaks one of the seals. This also reveals new areas of the castle that contain hints to secrets, cosmetic customization, and more. The main goal is to release the final seal and access what lies beyond.
To complete quests and navigate the world, players make use of their goat powers: grabbing things with their sticky tongue, ramming things, and triple jumping. New gear will be unlocked at a steady pace through quests, and many pieces grant a unique skill. The sheer amount of available equipment yields a wild amount of customization, allowing players to slap together sometruly broken and fun character builds. Some abilities provide genuine upgrades or benefits, like the rocket boots. Others are a janky catastrophe, like the rocket pack, which sends the goat reeling uncontrollably at high speeds. It’s a toss-up as to which type of ability is more fun.
Goat Simulator 3is geared toward letting the player create as much chaos as possible The goat has multiple equipment slots, and inevitably players will end up with more than one ability at once. The catch is that multiple will be activated with the same input. Boosting forward while opening a paraglider and launching a fish from the goat’s helmet is a fairly normal occurrence. But this can also result in undesired combinations that hinder play. Though this is in keeping with the janky spirit of the game, it also results in frequent trips to the inventory menu - interrupting the fun.
The quests dotted around the map consist of silly, simple tasks such as licking objects and placing them somewhere or ramming something. The game presents very little in the way of challenge, and players looking for some meaty gameplay will not find it. The main drive for some players will be checking the tasks off a list, but there are muchbetter games for completionistsout there, with more compelling action.
Goat Simulator 3’s biggest problem is that, as a solo experience, it simply doesn’t provide enough interest. The quests are easy to the point of boredom, and the primary goal of unlocking the tower seals is fairly hollow. There are certainly lots of silly things players can get up to on their own, but being silly for the sake of being silly can be a vapid experience that grows dull quickly. It’s formless playing rather than actual gaming.
For all it lacks as a single-player experience,Goat Simulator 3makes up for those shortcomings by offering anexcellent and unexpected party game. Several goats brewing their own particular style of chaos, and seeing those forces collide, often literally, results in some spectacular displays of brokenness. A simple act like traveling from one objective to the other becomes a savage contest to see who can ram their fellow goats the farthest - or innocent citizens. The game excels at placing NPCs in just the right position, aching to get a headbutt directly in the crotch, off of a cliff, and into the sunset. Constant distractions like this litter the world, and it becomes nearly impossible to keep a group of goats on track, but that’s the beauty ofGoat Simulator 3.
There are a handful of multiplayer mini-games throughout the world, only accessible with friends, and they’re some of the best parts of the game. Golf, derby car battles, aSplatoonparody, and more give the formless multiplayer mayhem a little more structure, yet they all maintain the game’s lighthearted absurdity. Between these games, the quests, and random distractions, there’s a huge amount of entertainment to be found for a group of friends. To play this game solo is to miss out on the best parts.
Given the right context,Goat Simulator 3’s uniquely humorous, wonderfully broken world is a delightful playground. Though the single-player experience can be lackluster, bordering on boring, the multiplayer party potential is great. The world and mechanics are set up so the slightest provocation can prompt a world unraveling with hilarious results. Despite its flaws,Goat Simulator 3deserves its day in the sun as the go-to party game.
Goat Simulator 3is available now on PC, PS5, Xbox Series X/S. Game Rant was provided a PC code for this review.
Goat Simulator 3
WHERE TO PLAY
Pilgor’s baaack! Take life by the horns in Goat Simulator 3 today!Gather your herd and venture forth into Goat Simulator 3; an all-new, totally realistic, sandbox farmyard experience that puts you back in the hooves of no one’s favourite female protagonist.Join Pilgor and get ready to create your own whirlwind adventure on the island of San Angora. Lick, headbutt, and ruin your way through our open world in the biggest waste of your time since the original Goat Simulator! We won’t tell you how to play (except in the tutorial), but merely provide the means to be the goats of your dreams.If your dreams contain more than one goat, that works for us! In Goat Simulator 3, you can invite up to three friends in local or online co-op to create carnage as a team, or compete in mini-games and then not be friends anymore. And don’t worry, there are plenty of customisation options so you and your pals don’t wear clashing outfits.
